Open letter on confession-2

I admit that truth,

you secure a very safe place in the existence of mine,

Many times people tell me I have a colour of yours,

There is no talent but it conveyed to me from you only.

I accept the fact no one will be there with you forever,

so we create memories with them when one day they are not next to us we can still survive,

I know we met with a lot of people in our lives and only resides with few. Why?

Maybe because they are there to evolve us.

To make sure how bad your heart- breaks you eventually learn to be with people, surviving without them seems to be difficult at last we all are social animals.

No one can change the fact people who left us have the safest and darkest place in our life.

No one can take them out from You we engraved them inside us,

No one can understand why they are still residing inside you and there is no chance that you stop loving them.

You just stop talking about them as if they never existed, vanished like a smile you saw in your pictures with them.

In life, many going to backstab you, make you feel shitty, realise that you don’t fit in ‘perfect’ society,

And there will be moments you behave like a badass.

Throwing away tantrums,

Strict in your own morals,

And that’s the only time you stand for your self-respect without thinking what your friends, neighbour, colleagues or society going to think.

You show your upbringing by choosing ‘yourself‘ and denying all false expectations of others.

You might confess it later but that’s the truth every human has their own space inside us and you cannot forget or forgive them you just stop thinking about them.

~Nidar

Open letter on confessions-1

I stop explaining myself to others why I not agreeing on living the way they want me to live.

No one can understand how hard it is to live each day while practising self-love.

Some don’t understand why it is so important? Why do you want to be alone? Why you do not choose them?

It’s always right to be not with someone who is nice to you, who always be available to choose you, it’s necessary to be with someone you want to be, where the vibe clicks, the heart ponders, where you effortlessly surround with them. There is no actual right in doing so.

Some people don’t understand the phase where you are. Where giving yourself time to heal, to be positive. It is not simple to forget things. You always have a special place in your heart for someone whom you lived for long and you cannot replace that place with someone new otherwise you create a new space for them. Where you don’t have the same passion, where you don’t have the same talks, where you don’t explore the same things, where you have a different inclination towards them.

Yes, it is important to live for yourself and in this procedure, you might hurt many humans but it is going to be worth when you meet your own self, effortlessly fall in love with you again, love your passionate being and staying connected with the lost one. If it is destined to be then things, places, humans, interests all going to meet or else not. Yes, destiny, universe, karma always plays an important role but one thing always there is a will to get them.

And I am in a process of evolving, growing, I might not be always correct but this what I want to be right now.

Here,

A pause,

Happy,

Consistent,

And madly created by the magic of stars and shine,

Where I do not care if some will not get this point because now I am getting a whole of me, right now

~life and its confession (1)

~Nidar

I

On the rock of beauty and lies,

I choose lies over your eyes,

Below your throat,

Under your skin and inside your warmth.

I choose the darkness of the universe,

Jealousy of beloved,

The silence of mysteries.

I choose a lot of rights wrapped above wrongs,

Highlight destinies which mould my spirits,

But here I don’t choose anything except the word of my thoughts,

Water which deepened,

The matrix that unlocks the logic of the existence of Me vs I.

I want to stand above everyone despite this humankind,

I want to touch my own self without faking for a while

~nidar

I am Mentally Acceptable

Within the sour of my feelings,

And the intensity of holding people tightly,

I was all lost in anxiety pills,

Warm bed,

Missing heartbeats,

And left side empty space towards my right eye.

Favourite coffees,

Best Friends,

Family love,

Good at a job,

I was all getting so right,

But it hit me when I was suddenly crying while everybody loving and laughing around me.

Many times doctor asked ‘are you happy’?

And I was all numb and silent.

Inside me, I was missing that one face,

That one essence,

That one person to hold me tight.

But I was so wrong and looking for places where I was all lost,

Not kind,

Where innocence died,

All my tears fade away and there was nothing but a fear of a dead relationship with a lot of people.

While travelling through maintaining all my relationships with friends, family, boyfriend, at work and where they expecting me to behave in a certain way I realised that I lost my own self,

I lost an individual who was once happy,

Sparkling,

Was shinning for herself,

And then I realised how much it is important to adapt self – love

No one can ever imagine that you too struggling because you smiling all day, responding to them in a particular manner.

You need to get a hold on your life because, in the end, you have to be happy,

As an individual,

As a human,

And most importantly for your mental health and awareness.

Let’s not be ashamed if you suffering from something, talk about it.

Let go things and choose happiness over sadness,

Love over hatred

Self over people.

On Mental Health day, let’s be more human and listeners.

Stay happy and share your journeys because many still don’t know that they are a sufferer.

Let’s talk

I shared my most recent photo where I was started living my life happily, all in love with self and mentally strong this time

~nidar