letters, life, love, reality, reason, Uncategorized

I am not a Butterfly

With all the fake-ness

We faked it naturally by smiling it passionately without blinking twice the eyes,

Saying Yes when wishing it to be No,

Wishing others could understand better rather fighting for our rights,

Leaving love behind to attain the compromises,

I lead my life understatements of others while I thought I am a butterfly.

I not lose any battle but lost in no spirit to live for a while,

I have everything in the eyes of the beholder but they forget I too have a life.

Always chasing something new with a passion to live it again for a while,

Earned nothing said by the mates whom I worshipped day and night,

They never trusted when I was sure they are the ones giving me wings to fly,

I love them unconditionally but they never allow me to fly,

The whole of my life I was seeking their permission for only once to let me breathe in an open sky,

I think more than hatred love suffocate by making it wise,

I thought I will grow,

loose,

defeat,

failed,

fly,

But I lead my life understatements of others while I thought I am a butterfly,

Later I discovered which I am not,

but only a human who wants to listen only Yes for all the No’s she said in her life

~Nidarnotesnowadays

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life, love

Still-in-mind

While doing something else you get into my mind,

It is a casual dealing for me ,

Heart not beat faster neither the butterflies gather.
Some mornings you stuck into my brain and  you reside till night,

It is ok for me,

Heart is empty so do my hopes of being with you.
While talking to some guy (my friends want me to hook up) I start searching the same attributes,

It is fine  for me ,

Heart still want you but I am tired of being unloved. 
Being lost for over a year and telling myself everything is good,

It is acceptable for me,

Heart still finding you and mind already convey, it is over.
Everyday I think you moved on , so do I ,

It is so-not-of me , 

Heart is still missing you but love for myself tell me: to give yourself another chance,honey

  -nidarnotesnowaday

life, reality

realistic Change

​I don’t know what is this sudden change 

I want to sing, 

Want to fly, 

Want to be happy,

Happy in love,life and living.

I don’t know what is this sudden strength 

I want to enjoy the life, 

See the oceans ,

Listen to the waves ,

Waiting for birds to fly .

I don’t know what is this sudden beauty

That I cannot express how beautiful my  mom is, 

How beautifully she transform herself from girl to a woman, 

How beautifully she leading her life, 

How beautiful her soul is that she always forgive me for the mistakes.

I don’t know what is this sudden challenge 

That I want to live more strongly every time I fail, 

I want to fall in love not only with people but with life,

That losing is not an end but a chance,a challenge   to do everything from the start 

   -Nidarnotesnowadays

life

Do you want ?

If you want things to be right just work for it to make it right.

If you want to put your heart out just cry out louder at night.

If you want to have the glory just face your darker story.

If you want to lead your life just take a backseat and enjoy the ride.

If you want a closure just remove your flaws-measure.

If you want to be together just stop making efforts longer.

If you want to find yourself all again just fall in love with a leap of faith !

                                    -nidarnotesnowadays