Thinking Thoughts

I wish to climb high and see what is  into your heart,

I wish to sneak into your house and see what is  inside your mind,

I wish to fall from height and  see what love you are falling in 

I wish to be your words and listen what sentences you creating,

I wish to swim into deepest ocean and feel how deeply you are madly in love with,

 I wish to do everything again if I loose you some between 

I cannot explain what this is ,

A kind gesture of soft heart,

A straight smile of curved lips,

An covered body of  blood vessels ,

And ,

An unimaginable collision of you and me

-nidarnotesnowadays

Words in oxymoron! 

I put a smile ,
Sarcastic .

I again put a smile ,

To smile and hide the truth ,

Life is of “achievers losing” everywhere,

Life is of “correctness  falsifying ” faces of each other,

The oxymoron was right,

But timing was wrong ,

I was …

At front of the mirror !

-nidarnotesnowadays

Things I don’t understand as human

Laying on the surface of pure Freedom,
FREE to breathe 

Free to dance 

Free to fly 

And free to think 

Think into the land of unreal real reality ,

Still not get it ? 

I too  not get it 

Still ,

Living into the land if Unreal-Real-Reality 

I climb into the SHADOW of my face,

Step by step ruining my existence ,

The blackness -darkened,

And I found ,

The SURREAL mix of life and fantasy.

Moment of transparent body  and hidden SOUL,

I get nothing,

Nothing to understand, 

Nothing to imagine 

Why humans fake their own existence?

Still not get it ? 

I too  not get it

Still ,

Creating living from holes of heart ,

PERPETUAL creatures demanding high,

I was just laying down, 

Staring the stars,

Watching the lights ,

Listening the noises,

Wishing things to get shut,

But the Reality of being Unreal give me life of Avoidance 

Still not get it ? 

I too  not get it.

Still, 

I  made another lie ,

To climb the oceans of salted-tears,

To put another mask of fear,

To get into the shell so I could not hear,

And to get it what I not get it till now , 

From the presence of mine here !

nidarnotesnowadays 

Learning from land

I learn the meaning of ‘adjust ‘ when I first travelled in a sharing auto ,the Co -passenger making a place lifting their curves,men removing their hands and make a place for me to sit .

I learn the meaning of ‘care’ while going on Rickshaw and a biker come and tell me to make my dupatta in place while it was lying .

I learn the meaning ‘compromise’ when a guy does not take a entry from Women’s coach in metro and leave that train and wait for the next .

I am learning the important things from life and i believe we all are learning with all those little experiences and these experiences make the place ‘our own place’. I got many opportunities to settle to another country but I always find it very hard to make a decision. 

I think I belong to this  place, this country, my home country and everybody feel the same when they have freedom to live,freedom to take decisions . Many times we all our forced to follow some decisions which we don’t like and we become rebellious,we put dharnas,strikes  only to make our voice raised. 

I am learning lot of new things by living into the land of fighters, warriors,spiritualism,feminism,conservatism, patriotism, rituals  and a light of modernism adapted by families of culurism. 

And this made me a part my country and a part of this land 

notesnowadays