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Fallen 

Is there something between us,

If it is then what it is ?

I fight with you,

I go messy around you,

I hate you ,

do you think ,

 Is there something between us,

If it is then what it is ?

I play with you,

I go -on dates with you ,

I disconnected myself with you,

Do you think,

Is there something between us,

If it is then what it is ?

I do make up on you,

I cook for you,

I sometimes done with you,

Do you think,

Is there something between us,

If it is then what it is ?

I pull your hair,

I shout at you ,

I cry with you ,

Do you think,

Is there something between us,

If it is then what it is ?

If you know the answer then tell me ,

What this unsaid story is about ?

Nidar

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It’s all about me 

Do you think about yourself?

Do people talk about how selfish, self centered you are?

do not care about it, you love yourself and that is what we all are searching, 

Let them say whatever they want to say , learn from your experiences , live your days happily no matter whether things going right or not, 

I do not care about others what they are thinking and that is why I SURVIVE!

I  am not in contact with people to whom I loved at one point and now they have a special place in my heart, I moved on  from the career changes to relationships. 
I do not want to settle with anyone or do not want to settle for less, I know what I want from my life and I do not impose this on any one.  I make my own decisions and because of this I failed and lose people which I never wanted. 

But what I understood is people are not permanent , you will lose them one day.

But what next? 

Nothing. it’s just me and it always about me. Some people call it selfish but I love myself , I want to achieve things which other dont want or I expect something else from a relationship . 

People always ask me what you want in a relationship , freedom? Space? Independence? 

But all this i already have , a freedom to choose and to say what I want  from a person , 

if I ever wanted space then why I choose a person to be with or 

independence does not mean that a woman is taking all the decision and doing things on her own . I believe in equality , I don’t believe whether a woman or a man is higher than the other. 

I have my own ways to choose things and surely other people too.

 whether you are a woman or a man you do not have to settle for less. This is your life and you have to make the best of it . 

I never regret of  my decisions neither I complain about things ,all this is about me and I know how to make everything in place.

Live your life the way  you want to live, lead it with passion and desires , you can fail at many times but you know what next to do !
Happy living 

-nidarnotesnowadays

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Be Motivated:Fight against depression-4 

Depression :something no one wants to talk about!

You are broken from inside and some cracks are not yet healed,

You are smiling but not laughing and there are times you miss the old you ,

You have failed everyday and must be wondering to stop living again,

You have seen death or someone just left you ,abandon you , betrayed you and you still thinking :I deserve an answer or a reason,

But I need to tell you ,

Yes YOU , 

You are STRONG,

Strong enough to pick yourself all again and  knowing that you failed thousand times but you TRYING,

Trying HARDER than anyone to get Yourself BACK,

Back from where you belong to.

You might have lost that shiny eyes,the beautiful smile or essence of love

But I need to tell you the UNIVERSE IS GIVING YOU A BIG HUG,

Yes , this is true and now it’s time to pat yourself  because you come out not as a winner but as a SURVIVOR from this storm.

Never stop yourself from growing,learning or never afraid from losing because we all are human and we can’t be perfect and 

    It is ok to win & perfect to lose

  

-nidarnotesnowadays

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Fight against Depression -3

Depression : something no one wants to talk about!

Your days might be off like your mood,

You hardly care about your own feelings,

You are broken,  so we all are,

You disconnected yourself from everybody,

You fighting all this by yourself,

but I think you are BLESSED,

Blessed to have a heart of FORGETFULNESS, 

Blessed to SMILING all day hiding your pain,

Blessed to FIGHT again knowing all your fears,

You might have wish to sleep and never wake up again,

But your eyes want to see you SURVIVING through all odds,

You might be a victim of depression but remember you are NOT ALONE in this ,

There are  people who does not have the same STRENGTH as YOU have ,

There are people who are not a WARRIOR as YOU are,

There are people who are thankless for this life and body ,

But YOU are NOT. 

Yes, you know how IMPORTANT you are for YOURSELF, 

you know YOUR WORTH ,

You might have failed many times but each time you  stood up to LIVE again,

You are the BEST PERSON for yourself and never forget that because NOTHING CAN HURT YOU EXCEPT YOU , YOURSELF,

Stop hurting,Stop blaming yourself and START LIVING FOR ONCE!

nidarnotesnowadays

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Fight against Depression -2

‘Depression :emotions deeply pressurised’ 

I give this meaning to the term depression. Many people have given meaning medically important and literature literate. But we need to understand the cause, how it become the highest found thing in human .

Today everybody from a child to an adult  are pressurised to perform . Perform to give good results . Results which bring best future . Future which is undefined.  

Lifestyle  of a kid or teenager :

6-6.30 am : wakes up 

7.30-8.00 am : school 

2.30-3.00 pm : reach home 

3.00-4.00 pm : lunch and get ready for tuition or other curricular activities and home work

6.00-9.00 pm: reach home or home work

9.00-10.30 pm: dinner 

11.00-12.00 : study or get back to sleep 

As a kid we have pressurised them to perform , this child also been into stress, anxiety and suffer . These all are the early signs which we have to look and throw them out from a child lifestyle. 

I know the competition is high why not give them a chance to explore their own minds and personalities once they experience their childhood. Why we always want them to correct everything? why we want to protect them ? Why we want to put things on them which we can’t do or have not done by ourselves. Why?

They do want to explore their minds, they do need to experience what the world, nature and surroundings are. 

At least lower down your expectations from them when you yourself have not met it by your own! 

Let them do what they want to do , at least for once and then you will get the best results of their choices and your expectations 

If we stop these anxiety, suffer,stress from childhood we can easily save an adult from depression !

– nidarnotesnowadays

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Fight against Depression 

People are committing suicide on live streaming  and some are committing suicide  all hidden into their rooms the point is they both dealing with one thing that is  Depression. 

Depression becomes the largest found attribute in human in every 20 people 1 is committing suicide ( acc to research).

can we  not do anything? Are we that much helpless? I do not want to lose anybody from depression when I am right there for them , will you too think that? If yes, then fight for them, help the ones when they need your help, be their partner, motivate them, indulge them in new activities.

We have to stop treating depression as a disease ,

Let’s just fight for them, with them,against this depression! 

Nidarnotesnowadays

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Game of chess

The game of chess,

The FLUORESCENT light,

I make a move and the soul die,

I took another chance of luck and lust, I lock myself in the  MYSTERY of love.
She INTERTWINED my thoughts with her red-eyes,

I wiped her tears to make her mine,

She played another move in the light of dark,

I lost another chance with the IMPERFECTION ‘s art .

I had black and she had white,

Even demons can bow down when see her smile, 

I want to know her more,

I played another round,

She was coming closer to me on chess-board,

I let her win to let me win her.
All I remember was into her arms,

She come closer and tied me hard,

She stole my heart and my money,

I ILLUMINATING my thoughts in a moment of grey,

All I left with a game of chess,

A part of her beauty and a part of her mess!

-Nidarnotesnowadays

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The mystery she solved

She died thousand times before trying 

She defeated million times before flying 

She haunted everyday before sunrise 

She flawed every hour before rise 

She been touched, scratched,lured every minute of her life 

But still she remain untouched by the one she crying

Been embarrassed, abandoned or missed is not she concerned, 

All she wanted to be alive to feel what she felt and what she had, 

She may made herself self-sufficient or may not want to be settle for less , 

But at the end she wanted to be the one who want to be alone but not a loner who kill herself 

Nidarnotesnowadays

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Thinking about you- Maa

I have seen her white-angelic color, the skin which is so soft that whenever I poke her the giggle become  laughter and make her skin more pink

I have seen her pink Sarree,whenever she dress me up in it I smell the pure fragrance of her
I have seen her scolding me and feeling sad about it 

I have seen her doing everything on her own from household work to official work and truthful  about all her relationship
I have seen her dad’s wife to single mother journey and she never question her ability 

I have seen her completing her studies as well as at top position at her work and giving up everything for me
I have seen her giving me the attributes of real woman who can stood for herself 

I have seen her growing me in a way where winning is important but losing is necessary 
I have seen her growing from mother to guide to best friend and may be that’s the reason I have never seen her best friends because she has given all the best sides of her to me

At last,  I always wanted her color,her giggle,her eyes,her boldness,her funny jokes,her cooking style and everything of her , I want to be just like her 
🙂

 Nidarnotesnowadays